is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
