i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
