Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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