i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
