Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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