omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
