I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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