what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
