hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
