We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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