Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
