you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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