if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
