So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
