Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
one might say we're banned from that church
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
