Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
