I'm eating all of the evidence.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
