in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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