tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
