i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
