You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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