your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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