just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
