That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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