just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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