it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
