my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
