Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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