youre lurking in front of me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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