I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
