She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
