Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
