Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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