oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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