At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
