I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
