Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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