so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
