thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
And then he peed in my hair
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