Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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