hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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