dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There r osticjed everywhere
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
