friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
