I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
nutella sex= disaster
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
