Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
