Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
