so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
