I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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