I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
