I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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