i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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